We are fortunate to have two selves, a big Self and a little self. Our big Self is like our soul, the universe, the mystery, God, Buddha Mind, Original Nature, the Tao, or the way. Our little self is just us. Our big Self takes care of our little self like a doting grandmother. When we suffer our big Self suffers. When we rejoice our big Self rejoices. When our little self is lost, our big Self knows right where we are.
When we forget about our big Self, we inhabit our little self. As our little self, we feel like it is us against the world. Sometimes it feels like we are winning. Sometimes it feels like the world is winning. When we are our little self, what we feel can seem overwhelming, unmanageable, huge.
When we forget about our little self, we are just our big Self. Then, we have no worries.
Can we please stop associating being a good person with how much you’re willing to suffer in silence for other people? You can be a kind person and still say “no, I don’t have the time/energy to help you with that.” You can be a kind person and still say “this makes me uncomfortable, please stop.” You can be a kind person and still say “I disagree and here’s why.” You can be kind and still say “I’m not okay with this.” Being kind is about treating people with kindness and respect, not about being the human equivalent of a doormat!
Anonymous asked: As an ex influencer, do you know if influencers pre-plan their pictures / do they organise photoshoots / how much of their lives is edited / do they write their own captions / do they just have an old stock of pictures they pull from to post ... What about being an actual influencer made you realise it wasn't so dreamlike as you had previously thought ...
Well okay, so itās like your life somehow merges into content creationā¦ so very suddenly thereās always something in the back of your mind like āah this would a great shotā āI look great must get a pic for instaā idk I feel like my influencer experience was unique given how saturated the influencer space is for gen Z nowadaysā¦ I feel it would be so subconscious so itās not like thereās a shit tonne of planning, itās more like a heightened version of how everyone in our generation kinda grew upā¦ like constantly taking pictures of ourselves and posting them online. I just canāt imagine constantly posing and taking new pics of myself š like that would feel so weird? But I know thatās probably just because of my past, but yeah I think about sexuality online so oftenā¦ it was a real pleasure in my teens, a real pleasure cycle of getting a lil cute, taking a bunch of pics, loooving going through them all, selecting like my top 5, editing them multiple ways on VSCO cam, sometimes asking friends which one (this was before multiple photos on Insta was a thing!!)ā¦ nowadays I really like the look of my bare face, feel special getting a lil dressed up for dates or going out with friends, or even for a shift as waitress, I enjoy doing my eyes and lips up. Basically, I think social media is so normalised / everyone grew up identifying with online personas and imagesā¦ you really would have to have been an influencer then quit it cold for 4 years to probably feel what I feel with it? So I do feel a bit alien haha? But canāt stress enough how much better I feel about my body/face/self/sex since removing myself from constant curated images of beautyā¦ also love no one knowing what Iām up to / who Iām hanging with lol, I love having a super private life! I cherish it š
As for the psyche of influencersā¦ everyoneās different, I think most are pretty damn stressed/paranoid/beyond self-conscious. Hate and constant judgement gets everyone at some pointā¦ I also feel like thereās a real split between people who canāt stand the self-obsession of digital personas and people who enjoy their content/personas cause they wish for similar aesthetics/fame/fortune/travel opportunities.
Itās like watching a wealthy sim create their dream apartment/life with a lot more time and money than you have. Haha so for me, the lines are muddled and blurred between jealously/distaste/desire/criticism when it comes to influencersā¦ and this whole āI want to be more vulnerableā I hear oftenā¦ itās tricking cause real pain aināt pretty, so then, so often what we hear are watered down/polished versions of struggle from influencers :/ and I donāt think influencers āshouldā have to be open about their struggles! To an ambiguous audience of thousands??? Yeah sharing online opens you up to sooo much unwanted, cruel feedback so :/ again, idk what it would be like to be influencer at my age / these days!
Also, I think in this political climate most influencers are super aware of how privileged they areā¦ so I think this also would be hard to deal with, trying to be relatable but like not knowing anything outside of the influencer bubble š we are living in such crazy times, I often think influencers are like the live-action TV show that never endsā¦
Also thereās not just one model of an influencer, but I liked this definition from twitter lol
“Don’t seek, don’t search, don’t ask, don’t knock, don’t demand – relax. If you relax, it comes. If you relax, it is there. If you relax, you start vibrating with it.”
